Merlin is asleep at the other end of the house. I check a text and see that the special educator has asked if I would like to continue to put my son in the typical classroom scene next year(with peers or more special ed).
I’m already feeling exhausted/defeated from reading the blurb.
I relay it to my eldest son Lincoln(15y) in hushed tones and throw in “let’s get real, what job do you think Merlin can really have? I mean, really. With arms and legs that don’t function properly and he can’t speak*. Does he even need an education**? That’s what I wonder about.”
In his typical swagger he quickly responds “Medical technology is rapidly advancing.“
I’m not detoured from my frustration and I make some fresh comments about “not holding my breath” etc.
I go to fold laundry and he burst in saying he has the perfect job for Merlin: “a smuggler! No one would suspect him!”
We both laugh. It’s a ridiculous suggestion but I know he was simply trying to insert comedy into a depressing reality.
He goes on to explain that he thinks Merlin can say more than he is letting on and that communication is more than words…. that words are simply sounds organized in a pattern…etc. In fact he performed a 5 minute “lecture”about it.
By this time I have moved on with a little more hope and with a little less isolation knowing that Merlins older brother understands the situation. Link is looking out for him and not lowering his expectations; I need to do the same. ❤️❤️❤️
*Merlin can say a handful of words. He is technically “non-verbal” but he can say about 20 words such as yes, no, hi, mom, dada, milk etc
**Merlin has the same thoughts, feelings, and understanding as his peers. He can learn what they learn but because he is non-verbal(and a people pleaser)testing him is a challenge.
Four Seasons in One Day 
I love that his older brother is both sensitive to your feelings and encouraging of his little bro! This speaks volumes to the way you raise your kids and the kind of love and values that you instill in them! I am a new friend in your world, so looking at this objectively and having other friends with children who are much like Merlin, I think Merlin will really surprise you in the years ahead! I love the pictures you share! His smile literally lights up the room and you can feel his joy in it! Whatever you decide for Merlin, will be best. Trust your gut! You know Merlin and I bet if you ask Merlin which direction he wants to go, he will communicate with you what he wants. Nonverbal doesn’t mean he doesn’t have anything to say! Love ya!
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Hang in…My sixth sense in on alert…I AM SERIOUS. I love the fact that you’re not “OH POOR ME(ing)” You have the courage, brains and strength to do this. xxx
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Your older son is so loving to both you and Merlin. He hears your frustration and helps you by giving his perspective on the situation, even using a little humor to lighten a very emotionally loaded subject for your heart. You obviously love your children with all your being, weighing the pros and cons to see what would be best for Merlin. I cannot even fathom the how difficult it must be for you at times…you model strength, persistence, grit and unconditional love to everyone you touch, including your children, including Merlin. What does he think about it? Has the school considered having Merlin visit his classroom on a trial basis? What strengths/interests/character traits can Merlin share when he visits to help his classmates see him as that last piece of their class puzzle they can’t live without…to help make their class whole…Mt heart hurts for you that you recieved a ‘text’ about this decision instead having the conversation in his IEP meeting, where you have a whole team that could brainstorm ideas, even out if the box ideas, so you didn’t face these feelings alone. Thank goodness for our kids, husbands, family and friends…I am glad you included me in your uniquely woven web you call life…keep fighting that good fight Heather and know you have alot of people that love you, Merlin and the rest of your family.
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I specifically requested texting when school started. She texts me every day about how he is doing. I’m grateful. Honestly a text was easier than a call would be…a call would presume I have answers. 🙂 I love having you in my life, thank you for the kind words.
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